Local Heroes Bring Trainset Tyranny to a Sudden Stop

The Blackwell Courier - Issue #3 . . . February 24th ((2012))

Local heroes bring trainset tyranny to a sudden stop

By Tobbes S. Blackwell

and Swarley Boompen

Dwarven district auction house is still recovering from the terrible trainset tyranny.

The late evening tranquility of Stormwind was spoiled by cries of distress when a toy train set was placed in a highly trafficked area of the Dwarven District Auction House February 16th. 

“I was just minding my business buying imported troll juju,” bystander Thomas Trayne said, “when all of the sudden I heard a low commotion. Some people tried to find a way around it but it kept moving in circles and confusing everybody.” 

According to bystander Alfie Greencrane, he and many others near the trainset felt physically compelled to make train noises along with the toy train..

“There must have been some sort of sonic hypnotic compenent. All around me people were going choo-choo, with faces stricken with pure terror,” Greencrane said.

Fortunately for the distressed men and women of the city, locals Jon Cole and Smith N. Jean were both at their station.

“I don’t think it was anything special, I just wanted to act responsibly so that our busy citizens could get back on track,” Jean, an engineer, said after wrecking the hazardous locomotive model with a mechanical automaton.

While the culprit of this crime was not seen among the thick crowds, there is little doubt it was for their own sick joke.

“The swift convenience of the auction house [in the Dwarven District] is vital to the local professionals and businesses. Whoever caused the interruption was surely conducting themselves very childishly.” Cole said.

"This isn't the last of the train terrorism. So long as the culprits are out there, the people of Stormwind are in jeaprody. This time it was a train set, but next time is could be something far worse... piccolos and grenades that make people dance against their will. Personally, I think it was troll spies that did this." Jon Cole warned.

“I’m no hero. My train of thought was simple: to get business moving again. The auction house is a vital part of Stormwind’s economy, and distress there affects everyone. Who ever did this must have had some loco motives. I’m just lucky I bought that overpriced Train Wrecker,” Engineer Smith N. Jean explained

"There's only a few people with the skill to create a device that can stop our current thoughts in their tracks and force us to say and do things against our will. I trust the authorities will find and arrest the person who did this very quickly. However, until an arrest is made, I'll be avoiding Stormwind's auction houses," Alfie Greencrane said.

"I'm telling you this was all part of a plot formed by Stormwind nobles. They're testing alien technologies they stole from sand gnomes. Today, they get us to go choo-choo, tomorrow they'll be using this train mind control to get the auction house patrons to invade Pandaria for its resources. Fight the power!" Julian Huxley speculated.