Gnome Detective Solves Crime & Cleans Streets

The Blackwell Courier - Issue #1 . . . June 2nd ((2011))

Gnome Detective Solves Crime & Cleans Streets

By Tobbes S. Blackwell

In recent days, talk amongst the streets and amidst the taverns has spread the name of one of Stormwind’s newest justice bringers. Detective Twidd Lintpicker is a 112 year old Gnomish Mage who has had his private investigation agency open only for a week, but has already brought swift closure to three cases in the first two days and left a positive impression upon the hearts of local citizens.

Though few really know it, this hard working Gnome is also a toy maker, lawyer, engineer, and inventor in addition to his emergence as a successful private investigator. However, the ever charitable Mister Lintpicker was so kind as to schedule time outside of his responsibilities to answer questions that the astonished public and I have been itching to hear answered. Below is the transcript, word for word, of the actual interview at his office on the Ironforge side of the Deeprun Tram.

Tobbes: "Mister Lintpicker, you are now known by many of the Alliance people of Stormwind, but they only know you as a detective. Pray tell, who is the real Twidd Lintpicker and where have you came from?"

Twidd: "The real Twidd Lintpicker is from Gnomeregan. I was a pilot. I am now an engineer, tinkerer, toymaker, inventor, lawyer, Gnomish Rights advocate, and small-time real-estate tycoon."

"I was also an officer in S.A.F.E., adventured plenty, and a highly regarded researcher in Mechagnome and Titan technology."

Tobbes: "Now that we are familiar with your background, I believe many of us would also like to know how you've arrived at your current chapter of life. Specifically, what was the greatest factor that brought you to our city of Stormwind?"

Twidd: "My son. I was working in Storm Peaks, trying to find an ancient engineering schematic, and out of nowhere, a courier found me and gave me a letter. My son, who I had not spoken to in many years, was telling me how he had become a mage, and an engineer like myself."

Tobbes: "Mister Lintpicker, what was the motivation for you to start a detective agency here in the city?"

Twidd: "Oh! That's easy! I'm the resident engineer for the Northern Offensive, so I've set up security cameras in our town up in the North."

“A friend of mine had a valuable heirloom stolen, and I used the Gnomecorder footage and some clues to track down the CAT burglar... it was a druid. I felt like Surlock Gnomes, a detective from an old classic book series. I was so inspired, I decided to invest some money into another business, using my profit from the other businesses. I decided I'd want to keep helping, cause well... it sounds naive, but it's fun."

"The look on someone's face when you find their child or missing item, and the gratitude they give. It's wonderful. Of course, I haven't found any children yet... but I will! I hope! Not that I hope they'll go missing!"

Tobbes: "I have a suspicion that readers will admire that honesty, as naive as it may seem. And it really is refreshing to see a detective so passionately true to his duty. However, don't let me sugar coat the public image of your job. In fact, I'm confident that there are many trials you have had to overcome for the demands of an investigator. Can you share with us your most rigorous of these challenges you have faced?"

Twidd: "Hmm. Liars. In interrogations or interviews, there is almost a guarantee someone will lie. It's realizing when they lie, and how to confront them that's tough."


Tobbes: "Well said Mister Lintpicker. Now, what is the most exciting and extraordinary case you have tackled yet? Assuming that the case is resolved, or you have freedom to disclose this one of course."

Twidd: "OH! That's easy! I was originally hired as a lawyer, and then as a detective. You see, someone came to me accusing a guard of racism and unlawful imprisonment. Naturally, I investigated further, taking statements from past victims, including my son.”

“They all claimed a Draenei who I will call Big K, and his CO I will refer to as V, had been reckless and used excessive force. Witness Penny Shadowsprock said Big K, took Croppy Reversobolt and Christii Grimegear by their ankles, and bashed their heads together. He then, stood on top of them with his hoof before shackling them.”

"It's been a tough case, especially finding victims who have been hurt. Such as Nicolette Venombolt, another Gnome, who claimed Big K wanted to just detonate them right in the middle of the graveyard.

“She also said Big K –tackled- this weak, poor, Gnome engineer without any warning. The Gnome was not in the right mind, and was acting in his self defense. I've investigated thoroughly, and I believe, while his CO is guilty of letting Big K act reckless, he is innocent of racism and excessive force."

"Oh. And another tidbit: Nevins Speedwrench, a formerly glorified racer at the Mirage Raceway, who lost everything in the flood, had been forced to turn to a life of crime, caring for Christii Grimegear. When apprehended, he was thrown over V's shoulder. He continued to squirm, but not resist too much. Big K broke his leg.

“I'm waiting to hear back from government officials about what to do about these two. But discovering this crime, and asssisting Gnomes everywhere has made this my most exciting case."

Tobbes: "Most intriguing Mister Lintpicker. Thank you for sharing that, I may have to even write my own editorial on this subject. But in all seriousness, it warms my heart to see a fellow person concerned for the well being of the downtrodden. That being said, can you tell us any of your plans you now have for the future of your detective agency?"

Twidd: "Hmm. So far, it's been a fun experience, so I'm staying open. I'm just finishing unpacking my office here in the tram, I'm getting plenty suits pressed. I hopefully plan to align myself a bit more with Stormwind, so I can possibly have access to the criminal archives, and possibly a partner. I'm looking for an assistant as well, and possibly a guard to make quick arrests. Other than that, no future plans! Yet!"

Tobbes: "That sounds like an excellent opportunity for those interested in exploring the investigative trade... which brings me to our final question, what word of advice would you give to aspiring detectives reading this interview?"

Twidd: "Hmm. Detective work is kind of like a Goblin contract. If you don't read between the lines, you'll ultimately fail. You need to take note of every detail, and that isn't easy. A wrinkle of the nose, a pause that lasts a second, and inflection in the tone of voice; they're all details that can change the outcome of a case. That's the best advice I can give."

Tobbes: "Wisely spoken. On behalf of the citizens of Stormwind reading this paper as well as myself, I thank you for your time Mister Lintpicker. It really has been a pleasure getting to know you better."

Twidd: "No, thank you, and the city's interest in my work. For justice, truth, and enlightenment!"